As We Know It

I have been thinking about death a lot recently. And loss. And things ending. My girls aren’t little anymore.

Nature is a tease, I tell you. She withers, but then repeats! Winter’s bare bones simply signify dormancy and the blooming buds to come. Don’t get me wrong, I love examples and metaphors of rebirth and resurrection. And in many instances, yes, we can start fresh or over or again. But what about when we can’t? Its occurring to me in my (haha) old age that some things just die. And that’s it.

I’ve always been a person tuned into my spirituality. I’ve always asked big questions, believed in a God, sensed the mystery of reality. And I have always been open - open to what might just happen after we die. Except for one option: nothing. And that scares me.

It hit me like a ton of bricks the other day that, hey, if you are going to be open to all the possibilities of what happens upon death than that is one of them: nothing. And while I am still scared, even if that’s not quite the right word, I am also curious. My spiritual director will be so proud (we love when people get curious!)

I am curious about why I am scared and I think that’s better than being scared full stop. I am also pretty calm and content while being curious and I am grateful for that. This is where I will be for awhile on this topic. Stay tuned…